I love hanging back and taking photos of my family from behind. It’s candid and tells more of the story of what’s happening. I have quite a collection of photos I have taken of the backs of my family. I hope grouping some of them here like this doesn’t look too creepy stalkerish or Blair Witch like.
It’s really hard to take a pregnant selfie. Unless you point the camera at a full length mirror and then you get the hideous background in as well, which is usually a bathroom or a messy bedroom. The front camera selfie gets much less of the background in but makes for awkward angles and strained concentration faces to get the right shot. One must include the preggo belly and the face. It’s awkward.
I’m 36 weeks pregnant today. The photo above was taken last night as I was about to step into the car and head to the Princess Theatre to see Once, The Musical. The dress is getting a touch too tight, but I certainly wasn’t about to buy a new one just for one night out, never to be worn again. My feet were killing me, but I felt about as pretty as one can at this late stage of pregnancy.
I had purchased a pair of sheer stockings, but because they weren’t maternity stockings, they did not stretch over the bump. Instead, they sat below the bump in an uncomfortable way. Before the show even started, the stockings rolled down my hips and were halfway down my butt before I could find a ladies toilet in order to make some adjustments. I decided to ditch the stockings in the name of comfort. No one was looking at my legs anyway. I caught plenty of people looking at the bump though. Who can blame them? It is rather huge. More of a planet than a bump.
I had to climb a gajillion stairs to get to my seat way up high in the dress circle of the theatre. Not fun for anyone but I could feel it in all of my pregnant places. The seats were made for theatre going sardines. Non-pregnant ones. It was a very cosy and rather intimate with strangers kind of experience. It’s a bloody good thing the show was so good, because those 2 hours in those seats were about as uncomfortable as I have ever been.
So, long story short. 36 weeks! Don’t go to the sardine theatre.
And also… 36 weeks! only 4 weeks until I meet this baby! Exciting!
Ok, not quite 10 years ago, but “that trip I took 9 and 3/4 years ago” doesn’t have the same ring to it. These are some pics from the archives. A whirlwind trip to the UK and a Contiki tour through Europe. This is as close as I can get to overseas travel right now which is painful for my itchy feet. I want to go back, even if it’s just to take some better photos!
Canterbury – I think
Shakespeare’s house. Possibly.
A castle in Wales
Roslyn Chapel – This place could have a post all of it’s own, I have so many photos.
Some famous tower in Paris
The weird and wacky and amazing La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona.
I suffered from post-natal depression with both of my babies. Each time was different, yet very much the same. The same isolation and loneliness and fear, the guilt, the hopelessness, and those horrifying intrusive thoughts. Dark, dark days.
I am so far out the other side of all that hideousness, that I feel like I have overcome and triumphed. Yet, in 5 weeks time I will be having another baby. Will it happen again?
It’s pretty simple to say no. I joke that I’m just not going to “do that” again like it’s as easy as choosing which brand of nappies to use this time around. I wish it was that easy. Just say “no” to PND and all will be well. I know it’s not that easy and I am a little terrified.
I haven’t bothered setting any appointments with psychiatrists because I have been let down both times with the previous births and the psych team never came, even though the appointments and flags were in place. The mental health system is a bit shit, so I wont even attempt to rely on it this time. I know some of my triggers into darkness and appointments and annoying people are two of the big ones, so that rules out counselling and psychiatrists. I also need to get out of the hospital as soon as possible after the birth, so that is the plan and one I hope to be able to stick to if things go well. I might even bring the car capsule into the delivery suite with me so we are good to go ASAP. Haha!
Another thing I need to make sure of is that I get plenty of sleep. This can be a bit tough with a new baby! But I have been practising taking naps on the couch and am now an expert. Hubby and I will also go back to the tag team evening parenting where I go to bed early and he stays up late with bubs so that I get as much sleep as possible.
I know that PND can be beaten, I’ve done it twice. I can do it again. But I would really rather not have to fight it. I hope things are different this time around.