I’m not a fan of standing still. Staying in one place and laying down roots. But I thought that was just a thing I felt when I was young and I thought I would grow out of that. I moved house a crazy amount of times as a teen and young adult. I enjoyed road trips with friends, solo travel to the UK and Europe and a couple of family trips to the USA. I thought I’d find my forever place and settle down when I grew up. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do right?
I am married with two children and our third on the way and last year we bought a house. In the suburbs. We have a dog and I drive an SUV. This is grown up right? This is settled.
I don’t feel settled. I feel bored and trapped.
It occurred to me recently that I have been searching for a place to settle. A place to call home and lay down those roots, but never actually stopping to ask myself if that’s what I really wanted. I just assumed that settling down would be a happy thing because it’s what everyone does and it seems like the dream – except for crazy eccentric types that wear hemp and travel to weird places and don’t have a fixed address.
It turns out I actually want to be that crazy eccentric type. I don’t want this suburban mum thing that I’ve got going on and I don’t think I ever did. It just happened. It’s like I woke up one day and thought: “how the fuck did I get here? And why the hell am I not in Peru?” I don’t want to wish away my kids. I plan on taking them on my crazy adventures – and the husband of course. Showing my kids the world is one of the best things about travel. But most importantly, there will be adventures. I need that. I want and need a life full of travel.
I would love to travel the world while home schooling my kids. Making our living on the road as we go. Sounds both awesome and terrifying. I don’t think I’m brave enough to do that. I just need more travel, more often and to keep moving. But to also have the security of a home base. But that home base needs to keep changing. And often. Too much to ask? Probably.
It definitely feels like time to move on again. This suburb has grown stale and I need new things to see and do. I desperately need a holiday and we had a huge New Zealand road trip planned for later this year but you know what they say about the best laid plans… This November, instead of bush-walking/tramping through Abel Tasman National Park, I will be pushing a new human out of myself. So plans have had to change. That New Zealand road trip will happen, just not while I’m in labour. Postponing our trip is fine but I do need something else, and soon.
I’m hoping a short holiday will help with the restlessness because these itchy feet are demanding some movement immediately. Sometimes a weekend away to somewhere new is all I need to recharge and help me get through the next few months of mundane daily life. We have a weekend trip planned for August and I am looking forward to that in a huge way. It’s just a local trip – a five hour drive to the edge of the state. But it will be awesome. There will be a cave tour and much driving and new places to see.
It’s only a month away. I am counting down the seconds.
Also… I really want to find my photos from Europe. Do you know where they are?