About Toushka

Here are my most recent posts

Author Archives: Toushka

Wordless Wednesday. That Trip I Took Ten Years Ago

Ok, not quite 10 years ago, but “that trip I took 9 and 3/4 years ago” doesn’t have the same ring to it. These are some pics from the archives. A whirlwind trip to the UK and a Contiki tour through Europe. This is as close as I can get to overseas travel right now which is painful for my itchy feet. I want to go back, even if it’s just to take some better photos!


Big Ben

Big Ben

Westminster Abbey

Westminster Abbey






Canterbury – I think

Shakespeare's Grave

Shakespeare’s Grave

Shakespeare's house. Possibly.

Shakespeare’s house. Possibly.


A castle in Wales


Roslyn Chapel – This place could have a post all of it’s own, I have so many photos.


Some famous tower in Paris

Vatican City

Vatican City

la sagrada familia

The weird and wacky and amazing La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona.

Luxury Accommodation. Contiki tent city.

Luxury Accommodation. Contiki tent city.

Linking up with My Little Drummer Boys for Wordless Wednesday


This Time Around

I suffered from post-natal depression with both of my babies. Each time was different, yet very much the same. The same isolation and loneliness and fear, the guilt, the hopelessness, and those horrifying intrusive thoughts.  Dark, dark days.

I am so far out the other side of all that hideousness, that I feel like I have overcome and triumphed. Yet, in 5 weeks time I will be having another baby. Will it happen again?

It’s pretty simple to say no. I joke that I’m just not going to “do that” again like it’s as easy as choosing which brand of nappies to use this time around. I wish it was that easy. Just say “no” to PND and all will be well. I know it’s not that easy and I am a little terrified.

I haven’t bothered setting any appointments with psychiatrists because I have been let down both times with the previous births and the psych team never came, even though the appointments and flags were in place. The mental health system is a bit shit, so I wont even attempt to rely on it this time. I know some of my triggers into darkness and appointments and annoying people are two of the big ones, so that rules out counselling and psychiatrists. I also need to get out of the hospital as soon as possible after the birth, so that is the plan and one I hope to be able to stick to if things go well. I might even bring the car capsule into the delivery suite with me so we are good to go ASAP. Haha!

Another thing I need to make sure of is that I get plenty of sleep. This can be a bit tough with a new baby! But I have been practising taking naps on the couch and am now an expert. Hubby and I will also go back to the tag team evening parenting where I go to bed early and he stays up late with bubs so that I get as much sleep as possible.

I know that PND can be beaten, I’ve done it twice. I can do it again. But I would really rather not have to fight it. I hope things are different this time around.

Babies don't suck

Book Review: Babies Don’t Suck

The lovely people at Pan Macmillan sent this book to me to see what I thought.

Babies Don’t Suck. A Survival Guide for New Dads

In short: it’s brilliant.

Fathers often get forgotten when it comes to pregnancy and birth. This book is written with the dad-to-be in mind. It’s short and sweet so it might actually get read, unlike that giant birth tome you left out on the coffee table in the hopes your other half would just pick it up and absorb all the knowledge within.

babies don't suck

Written by children’s book author and new dad Aaron Blabey, it is set out as an A-Z of new babies and all that fatherhood is.

Its funny and also a teensy bit heart-warming and cute. The kind of cute that made this 34 week pregnant ball of hormones cry. Not that that is hard to do, but still, it happened.

babies don't suck2

The husband enjoyed the book and had a chuckle.

It’s the perfect gift for the dad to be. Don’t forget him when buying baby shower gifts for mum and bubs. Dads are people too!