The three storage boxes we stored a whole bunch of useless crap in.

When we were told we were relocating to India for six months, we thought that four weeks was plenty of time to pack. We were renting so, it made sense to end our tenancy, put our stuff in storage and rent a different house on our return, therefore saving a shitload of money and making the whole India experience worth it.

But,  four weeks was not enough time to pack – especially with Christmas and new year right smack damn there in it all.  We started packing early and packed things that we weren’t going to need for the last four weeks of our lives in Melbourne.  Then, as it got closer to our departure date, we noticed we were running out of room in our storage boxes, so some things needed to be sacrificed to the kerbside, or Vinnies, or the dump.

I think the last few days of packing were panicked. They must have been because upon our return, we have opened our storage containers to find boxes of miscellaneous crap that we don’t really need.  Yet the contents of my kitchen seem to have disappeared.

A toaster or a set of pots or the damn slow cooker I have been dreaming of cooking yummy winter meals in,  would have been much more useful than a box of fabric scraps in Christmas prints right about now. Also, my psychology text books from the degree I will never finish, are about as useful as boobs on the proverbial man-cow.

However, a flick through those psychology texts has me wondering if an undiagnosed dissociative disorder is the cause. Perhaps I have an alter called Jan, who really wanted some new swanky kitchenware, so after I (Toushka) carefully packed each casserole dish and lasagne pan and other pyrex and ceramic loveliness into bubble-wrap and into a large plastic box, along with my slow cooker thinking I would see them again come July, maybe Jan handed that box to my husband and said – “this is rubbish, go get rid of it”. Jan knew full well that we would have to go and buy pretty new stuff when we got back. Damn you Jan!! You inconvenient bitch. You did not think this through!

If only Jan had ordered some lovely replacement things online and had them delivered, then I wouldn’t be so mad at her. The truth is though, I have no idea what happened to an entire box of very useful kitchen items, a baby safety gate, two printers and half a dozen other things that just don’t seem to be anywhere.

Where is it all? What were we thinking? Has this happened to you?